Thursday, March 31, 2011

He's come to SAVE THE DAY

Oh Japan... if only there was a robot God Jesus to have saved you from the terrible month you've had. It would have done much... you know, like the "real" God and Jesus... but just left you with more questions than answers.

Maybe Godzilla could have prevented the events from unfolding?? Who knows... But one thing is for certain...

Barack Obama should have done something!

"He's Barack O-BA-MA! He's come to save the Day!"


Saturday, March 26, 2011

Shoes for your Nag

Words cannot express the horror...

A few pairs of these horse trotters are being sold for a hefty price with the proceeds going towards a good cause - Prostate Cancer. They're made from actual horse hair!! 5,000 individually placed hairs to be exact!! (No horses were harmed in the making of the shoes - the hoofed portion is shaped and painted fiberglass). Why anyone would wear this is beyond me... furthermore, you'd have to have some really twisted love of horses... and a spare $2K lying around.

On the plus side: guys... if your nagging dear lady wants a pair and she wears these shoes while you're both out shopping, you are entitled to tie said bought items to her back since she's now the handy "Pack Mule". She can also pull carts and wagons, attend children's parties as a kiddie fun ride, and she can be a fuel-efficient alternative to driving your car to work every morning. For best results, remember to treat her to a sugar cube if she's done a good job.

Friday, March 25, 2011

I Save Lives

I want this sticker on every door and window of every building. You can never be too careful.

Friday, March 11, 2011

The Caffeine Hit that keeps on Giving

The new goal in my life... drink at least ONE Trenta size coffee before I die.


Could I have just one Trenta Java Chip Frappuccino... No, hold the cream thanks. My 900mL capacity stomach couldn't handle that much awesome in one sitting.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

A short note

Dear Creation "Scientists",

For future reference, please get to know the information in its entirety before you try to make "scientific" assessments of what, in you opinion, is not plausible. And force-feeding the youth parcels of education like Creation Science for Kids is simply unrealistic and a tad cruel.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

This tastes like 65 million years of staleness

Never thought I'd see the words "Fresh and Delicious" tied in with "Fossil Fuels".

Other than that, I will be looking forward to finding out if this is a marketable franchise and if it is, why is it not down the road from my house? If not... then I am most disappointed - think of the children (and me!).

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Foxes are cute, but evil little bastards

Power was out... technically still is.

Nearly 48hrs with no running water or electricity makes you feel very primitive. And when you finally have a generator to power up the essentials while you wait for the power company to fix it (*cough cough* 9pm two nights ago). Things like running the water pump so you can shower and flush the toilet (yay!), fridge (luckily nothing went bad), fan (damn summer heat) and a little TV (cos the lights don't work and the light emitted from the TV is enough to make sure you don't walk into chairs, coffee tables and couches in the darkness).

You realise, after so long without power, how much you've de-evolved to near-Neolithic origin. I've been too scared to turn my laptop on in case I ended up in the dark again. You feel real fear when all the lights go out and all you have are the moon and stars (if that, since its been overcast) and then you hear that faint high-pitched howl of a fox as it runs through the bush. Lets just say, my nights have been far from peaceful.

The tiny, cute face of a glaringly evil Mr. Fennec fox (photo by floridapfe)