One Year On

As I sit in those moments of quiet,
When sadness invades me,
I know that yesterday,
You were here.
Now you are away from us,
Not knowing your future,
Or when you'll come home, but yesterday,
You were here.

It has now been a week,
A week since you last were in the house,
An entire week since we carried you away,
To the place where we did not know your future, but just last week,
You were here.

Another day passes;
A week ago, you were still with us,
In daily reports from the clinic,
They did not know your future, But we could still hope, and,
You were here.

More days pass,;
A week ago you left us,
Your head cradled in our hands,
Your spirit gracefully moving upward,
But for a few hours of that day,
You were here.

Sadness invades again,
As I know that once those hours pass,
I can no longer look back,
Over the span of a familiar week's time,
To find that comforting point when,
You were here.

More time will pass;
Sadness will not so much invade as menace,
And I will mark the days,
Saying things like, "last month, last summer, last Halloween, last year,"
You were here.

I dread that day,
One year from now,
That first marking of the time,
That your body was no longer with us;
Though we will never forget you,
Your tangible memory fades,
The feel of your fur, your head, your back, your weight against us,
The smell and sounds of you when,
You were here.

The emptiness is beginning to fade,
To change into another reality,
One with you still playing a part,
But a role of ethereal presence rather than physical comfort we crave;
Your memory, your spirit, your essence and counsel,
Dwell with us, but this feeling is not the same as when,
You were here.

--"You were here" by Jenine Stanley

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

A year ago today, I said goodbye to you for the last time. I held you and pleaded to keep you longer if you were willing. You were too weak, and I knew I was being selfish. It felt like the longest drive, and when we arrived, I wished it had taken longer. I carried you in your blanket; you didn't fight... I knew by then that you had given up. I lay you on the table, the Vet came in to see us. Not once did I stop holding you - but she had to take you away through the back door. You weren't gone long, but you came back ready to leave. I held you again and whispered in your ear, and then your legs gently buckled and you got very heavy. You lay there, head slumped in my hand; and I closed your eyes. The Vet checked your vitals and announced "She's gone now". I cried. If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died.

I still cry, but maybe not as much.

I know I have my memories... but I only wanted you. You're my best friend and were always there for me through the hard times. I miss having you there... with all your quirks and love and life. You were more than a cat to me, I grew up with you forever by my side. You'll always have a special place in my life and I'll always love you for how you were and not how you left.

Forever loved; Always missed
Krystal
"Seal Moosh"
xoxoxo